May 2013
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welcomebentothestage:
doodlesbytara:
hey bud *wraps you up in a blanket* i know today might have been hard for you *ruffles your hair* but you made it through the day *boops your nose* you’re doing such a good job *kisses your forehead* and i am so proud of you
im crying
emilioestevez:
story time
so about 7 months ago, my girlfriend at the time asked me to move in. so i did and we lived together for roughly 6 weeks. she asked me to move out until i was mature enough to live with a girl because in those 6 weeks i drew a dick on her face while she was sleeping 11 times.
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Q: How much gay porn do I have to post to get more...
sweeneytad:
*dentist slaughters family in front of you*
they’re bleeding because you don’t floss
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waterfallfish:
Ugh how do you expect me to decide what college to attend or who I want to marry or what I want to do for the rest of my life I CAN’T EVEN DECIDE WHERE TO PUT A STICKER BECAUSE PEELING OFF THE BACK AND HAVING IT STAY IN ONE PLACE FOREVER IS TOO BIG OF A COMMITMENT FOR ME TO LIVE WITH
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“…Merida wanted to ‘dress up’ for her coronation ceremony…”
NO SHE DIDN’T, DISNEY, DID YOU EVEN WATCH THE MOVIE YOU MADE ABOUT HER.
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earthnation:
people who have the same name as me are competition
So I was writing out the answer to an ask and I hit “save as draft” but now it’s not in my inbox OR my drafts so uhhh.
Assassin’s Sneeze IV: Snot Rag
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octopenis:
An Atheist and a Christian sit down at a bar. They both knock back a few drinks and enjoy each others company because they aren’t pretentious assholes.
heygloria:
nothing hurts more than being ignored by cats on the street
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Like the one time I actually have a little extra money and I try to spend it on you, you fucking bail on me? That’s fun.
Everyone has all this really great stuff to say about their moms, and I’m just sitting here like…
I tried to take my mom to dinner and a show today but she already had plans. With her sister.